Re-visioning

For as long as I can remember I've done some kind of craft work. When I was little I loved to draw and paint. I used this as my main form of communication because I was virtually mute for the first 6 years of my life. I was so traumatized I rarely spoke. But a kind gentle teacher encouraged me to draw and read. It was through these activities that I found my voice. Most people who know me might find this surprising.

Lately, I've been going through a different kind of trauma. My self-confidence and esteem has been rocked from being long term unemployed. As of now I'm trying to find creative productive ways to deal with this. I have my moments. Early this week I thought I was going to lose my mind.

As I was writing this I realized that my craft work is something I rely on and do automatically to give me solace. Knitting, crocheting is a form of tactile kinetic meditation. It's very much like the walking meditation I do as part of my daily work out. This is so important too me but I want and need to take my creativity to another level.

I miss painting. Today, I looked at one of my old paintings and admired the contrast in texture and color on the surface of the campus. I had a momentary spark of inspiration and wondered Why? When am I going to start painting again?

Re-visioning creativity in new forms. Going back to another craft skill genre that I used to work with. Presently, because of my financial situation, lack of studio space and I have a huge yarn stash , I haven't been inspired to paint.

However, I'm working towards finding a way to create an environment where I can get back to painting. I think this will be an important step in my healing from this difficult time. I had a dream the other night. I could clearly see my former lover's face and feel his kiss on my mouth; his blue eyes shone brightly into my soul. But then I woke up! This was a sweet scene in a dream a moment in the past revisited.

Too me this is a metaphor that I can give myself the grace but continue on the path of healing.to realize and create something new.

My Crafting Sutra

So far, I've written a lot about how I feel art craft is healing. At this time in my life if I didn't have art craft I don't know what I would do. I'm going through a really difficult time and for the most part I'm going through this alone. I like solitude but not isolation. But as of late I have been isolated. It's as if because of my present circumstances I've been rendered untouchable. It's hit or miss with the friends. Everyone has their reasons and excuses. But in the end I'm left alone to deal with my circumstance. So if I didn't have my knitting needles and crochet hooks I don't know what I would do!

I find making a pair of gauntlets, cowl is so empowering and beading an amulet bag is serenely healing. There are so many wonderful patterns and yarns. Sometimes I go crazy I want to do them all!! I view my yarn, knitting needles, crochet hook and beads as my paintbrushes.

I used to paint and I miss it immensely, but living in a small carpeted apartment does not lend itself to painting large canvases. So as the years have gone by, I have more or less stopped painting and drawing. As with any other skill, I feel I would have to rebuild them with practice.
many have suggested that I get back to painting and I would like to. But I know I have to access a different artistic voice to get there.

In the meantime, it's been really nourishing to my sol to knit and crochet. Being able to do these two things has literally and figuratively saved my life. Loneliness and despair has really been haunting me art craft has kept me in the light.

One of my patron Goddesses is Saraswarti. She's a Hindu Goddess and two of her basic qualities are wisdom and beauty. In my art craft I always strife to incorporate wisdom with beauty. I like to make my own patterns or to re-translate others so that I can make a pleasing hand made item.

Art craft is meditation prayer to and from my soul. A way for me to commune with my artistic spirit so that I can receive the healing and comforting I need.

Balm of Gilead

Healing through art is a big thing for me. I've had a lot of pain in my life and one of my few measures of solace and joy comes from my art craft work.

Today I had a wonderful amazing experience. I have a new student in one of my knit classes. Like me, in the past year, she has gone through some monumental life changes. There had been three deaths in her immediate family and she changed her job. It just goes to show you that we never know who we will meet and what others have been or are going through.

But his woman amazes me. Although she's very young she has a maturity and grace that surpasses most people twice her age.

As I was teaching her how to knit we talked about her goals for the class. She told me that a lot of her friends are having babies and how she wants an affordable way to make presents for all of them. We decided on some toy and baby set projects. I have no doubt that her knitting skill will be up to par to accomplish these tasks.

Meeting and working with her today, made me happy and gave me the strength to continue to ploy along during this difficult time. Her inner grace blessed my heart and put it on the pathway to peace and healing. All while knitting on our # 8 knitting needles her thread mutli colored greens and mine red. Yes there's healing power in crafting.

ReCrafting

Yes, it's Christmas and I have to confess this is my least favorite time of year. Why? because for the most part it's too materialistic and fake. Plus, for me the Christmas season wreaks havoc on my emotional psyche.

These are tough economic times, so a lot of people including myself are looking for work or barely getting by financially. In spite of this, I try to stay up by doing my art craft. I enjoy it immensely, it calms and soothes my soul. Plus, it's part of my new business. I want to be self-sufficient, independent and live through my creative ventures.

This week I took samples of my work to two shops in an effort to sell them on consignment. But both of the store owners want me to sacrifice or spend more money than it was worth to have them sell my items. Many people fail to recognize the skill, time and money it takes to do hand knitting and crocheting.

Other than a few sporadic junctures it's been a slow go. So I continue to re-evaluate my business strategy so I can figure out what will be the best way for me to go. I need to develop items that I like to make and can sell to customers. At the same time I'm not willing to sacrifice my creative ethics or tailor my market by trends. I need to sell the craft items I have on hand, so I need to find a market for them, my niche. All of this is a constant balancing act, but I determined to forge ahead and get my business to grow in this New Year.

Temple of Creativity

Well I've been knitting in red lately. I've fallen in love with the color red, in all it's glorious hues. For me red represents healing. Healing a broken heart rebuilding a crushed spirit. Rekindling the fire of creativity and confidence.

When I'm crafting I take pleasure in watching my projects develop. I love to note stitch definition in patterns and find delight in each well constructed beautiful projects.

As I've said before, for me crafting is a spiritual experience. I can go into another realm when I'm working with my yarn on a project. I have the same feeling when I'm painting or writing. When I'm communing in sync with my Muses I'm on cloud nine. I feel like I'm in a temple of protection and beauty where my unique creativity shines and resonates to the highest rung of Heaven. My own personal symphony of joy, and peace. A refuge from the sorrow and carnage of lives frustrations and worries.

Thank Goddess I'm my own personal artist. Thank Goddess I know how to knit and crochet.

Perception

Perception, the way we see things through our mental processes and experiences shapes what we do, how we interact with others and posit them within collective cultural paradigm. Until recently, other than trying to do the things I need to do I've been a bit of a solitaire.

But, last night I decided to attend an event with one of the tarot guilds I belong too. They were doing a You Tube video presentation about the history of the tarot. Although, there were some parts of the video that were interesting for basic information and novelty value. I found a lot of the information antiquated, biased and ill informing. Why because it had strong overtones of white revisionist history regarding theories about the origin of tarot and contributions made by African people. I said as much during the discussion portion of the presentation, which I surmised offended the main presenter and perhaps confused a couple of others.

I have to get it in my head that people in the esoteric community are not unlike others in the general public when it comes to ignorance and fear, hatred or indifference about the historical reality of African/Black contributions to World History and Culture. For the most part when I speak on these things most people who are not of African/Black decent become very defensive or indignant. Often, silently fuming because something different has been added to the mix that they do not approve of.

In all my years studying pagan history I've found few writer's who have a non-stereotypical multi-cultural perspective. Yet, many self proclaimed pagan scholars insist upon using these tiring perspectives as factual evidence to develop their methodologies of practice. I find this problematic because it continues to perpetuate out worn stereotypes, adds misinformation and is stifling.It's really sad when people try to do this with the tarot because by it's nature it goes beyond the spectrum of one perspective.

True witches and wizards aren't tight asses! The core of the craft reflects nature;its fluid, flexible and adaptable. We draw and learn from everything around us. Yes, it's helpful to have a focal point to develop a foundation for basic information. But if that foundation is weak and we don't re-examine or periodically reconstruct it, then it becomes stagnant. To me tarot is a living esoteric art that thrives with diversity. I try to celebrate and utilize this as a gift for understanding on a broader and deeper level.

Knitting Up Red Confidence and POWER

For me, confidence plays a key role in me being able to execute and complete complicated or daunting projects. Confidence equals power, because it allows you to access the thing inside of you that jumps starts you into new dynamic realities free from the obstacles of mental oppression. At times I can be painfully shy. Crafting has been my main solace from lives oppression and hardships.

Bearing this in mind, today I did something that ended up being really interesting. I went to a seminar on how to use social media networks for growing your business. It was listed as being for CEO's and a couple of months or years ago I would not even have "thought" I belonged in that category. This is the role that psycho neuro-linguistics plays in limiting our reality about who we are or what we do.

I took the courage to step outside of my comfort zone and check out something that I thought might be interesting and beneficial in terms of improving my business plan. Eureka! It worked. I got a lot of really useful information. I did a little networking. Plus, I got a lot of really good ideas to help me develop effective marketing strategies to grow my craft and tarot business.

I had a hankering to finally knit up the red multi-ribbed scarf pattern in Liz Crompton's book Knitter's Bible. The first time I looked at the pattern I really liked it because it has a lot of texture. It's a series of alternating ribs that create a lofty tactile fabric. Plus using the color red really gives it a nice punch. But then I tried to read the pattern instructions and I got frustrated. Most of my crafting life I sight read patterns, meaning I look at a completed sample and figure out how to knit/crochet the pattern. I find most modern written instructions too confusing. But know armed with a newly developed confidence and patience I carefully read the instructions and scope out the finished sample to complete the project.

Being an entrepreneur is a lot of work. Plus, I'm doing this while looking for a job during the worst economy since the Great Depression, worrying about a dying family member and the effects his death will have on another, grieving over a deceased friend, etc. etc. LIFE Lot's of juggling and prioritizing. Am I going to be able to do it? I'm going to have to if I want to keep moving forward with my life and building my dreams into reality.

Even in this difficult time I've been finding any icon, symbol , talisman I can to help me develop a conduit power a support grid to keep me hanging on. The color red; the strength in it, the meaning of it, working with the red yarn, making up the scarf from this pattern, gives me a thread of hope a guide towards light during this difficult time.